Eyelashes
by Chandler Lohner
by Chandler Lohner
I never knew
How close one could get
to becoming nothing but skin and
bones.
A deflated pile of
Wrinkled flesh and
Loose eyelashes that I
just wanted to yell at
For not flying far enough
Into the heavens.
For leaving the puddle of
tears that she cried
For dancing back to mock
me.
And the many wishes I had made.
Please.
Please just hold out your hand
And collect them in your palms, if
you would.
I blew them right to you, so why do
you keep on returning them
I don’t want them.
I want her.
And it’s okay
if she doesn’t have any eyelashes
left.
left.
Why?
by Lyle Paul
The sizzling of my brain must be a delightful sound for him
We’re gonna jump down turn around pick a bale of cotton
Cooking, crackling, breaking, liquefying, bubbling like a witch’s potion gone wrong
Jump down turn around pick a bale a day
Am I a slave to him or my mind?
Jump down turn around pick a bale of cotton
The drums produce a cadence to which I cannot walk
I’m gonna get on my knees and pick a bale of cotton
My ravaged soul jumps to reach the aspirations but the nine pound hammer keeps me down
Get on my knees and pick a bale a day
Peace is only present in the pulp
We’re gonna pick pick pick pick pick a bale of cotton
Am I really seeing the same sun, the same moon, the same stars that the others see?
Pick pick pick pick pick a bale a day
Jumping at the little scrap of rope he lets down the cliff
Me and my papy gonna pick a bale of cotton
All I receive is disappointment
Me and my papy gonna pick a bale a day
Why can’t you be better?
Pick a bale a day
I wish I had a better son
Pick a bale a day
Why are you even here?
Stomp a bunch of boll weevils
Are you serious?
Pick a bale of cotton
I do the best I can
Pick a bale of a day
I wish you had a better one too
Lordy oh Lordy!
I’m only here because I have to be
Pick a bale of cotton
Would it be better if I was not serious?
Pick a bale a day
Why am I here?
Pick a bale a day
I am a coward
Pick a bale a day
I watch the expectations soar like a doomed space ship
It soars to the heavens
It soars to death
It soars into the unknown
It soars to death
The text in RED is the slave song “Pick a bale of cotton. The texts in BLUE are the questions my father has regarding me. The texts in GREEN are the responses that I have for my father. This poem shows the beginning of the torment my father’s disappointment causes me and shows how I became a slave to his ideals and my own mind. It also slightly foreshadows what is to come.
Disappointment
by Lyle Paul
The anger of my father did not hurt me
Heart pierced by the arrow disappointment
Sitting in the long long hall, watching his ideals fall hither
Belief I was something that I was not
Scum sitting at the bottom of life’s glass
O sweet Virgin Mary what can I do?
Internally crying, shrieking, and wailing
Clawing at the cage’s wall in desperation like an animal
A smile spreads from ear to ear
Falseness of reality served a release sweeter than death
Never to soar like the eagle
Never to inhabit the hallowed hall
Always to disappoint, always always always
Ahead to the left stood the man in white
Ahead to the right sat the woman in black
Hemlock creeped up the obelisk between the two
Sheer acceptance coursed through me
No longer did the band of leather cause pain
No longer did the loss of faith cause pain
No longer did my father’s disappointment cause pain
...right?? I'm telling you. I'm constantly impressed by the young adults I'm so privileged to work with every day.
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