Grown Up Obsession -- Our Lives as Stories

What is it about us that makes us want to grow up so fast? Why are we always waiting around, lamenting the fact that we’re not old enough to do what we really want to do?

Think about it. When we’re in middle school, we can’t wait to be in high school. After 18 happens, we’re looking toward the end of college, some of us hoping, planning, & dreaming for marriage while others of us hope for & dream about acquiring & excelling within our perfect careers. It’s all about what’s next.

Sure, there’s a bit of anxiety every now & then. There’re always questions we ask ourselves, things we wonder. When will our lives start? When will the things we wanted for ourselves happen to us? What if whatever it is that we want fails us? What if we fail others? Or what if we’re really good? What if we surprise even ourselves? What’ll that feel like? What’s next?

We forget to relish the time we have. To make the most out of the now, the present. So much of our lives are spent looking ahead, looking toward our plans, looking toward anything that isn’t what is currently happening around us. Isn’t it strange, how easy it is to ignore what’s happening when we’re focusing on what’s to come? I think it’s strange. Strange and a little sad. When we do this, we miss out on contributing to our own stories.

One of my favorite authors is named Don Miller. He writes a lot of stuff about what he believes in, what his failures have taught him, and how he tries to be a better person. One of his more recent books is called A Million Miles in a Thousand Years and it’s all about living lives that are meaningful. Story-worthy. It’s about how all the truly good stories involve a character who wants something & overcomes conflict to get it.

(Pssst. Those characters? They’re us. They’re our stories. We each get one.)

In a nutshell, Don Miller got the chance to turn one of his other books about his life and lessons learned throughout, Blue Like Jazz, into a movie. Such an undertaking gave him the chance to create and edit the story of his life. He was told by the producers that in order to portray his life as something viewers would actually pay money to see, some changes would have to be made. I found this idea really interesting. Editing your life.  Here’s an excerpt from the intro to his book, an excerpt that I’ve found myself thinking a lot about recently:

“If you watched a movie about a guy who wanted a Volvo and worked for years to get it, you wouldn’t cry at the end when he drove off the lot, testing the windshield wipers. You wouldn’t tell your friends you saw a beautiful movie or go home and put a record on to think about the story you’d seen. The truth is, you wouldn’t remember that movie a week later, except you’d feel robbed and want your money back. Nobody cries at the end of a movie about a guy who wants a Volvo.

But we spend years actually living those stories, and expect our lives to feel meaningful. The truth is, if what we choose to do with our lives won’t make a story meaningful, it won’t make a life meaningful either” (xiii).

Interesting concept, isn’t it? The thought that we’re all living out stories—the choices we make & the consequences we deal with are all ours. The decisions we make and the people we figure ourselves to be turn into the stories we’re living. Out loud. Stories that people physically watch, rather than read. Incredible.

The idea of editing one’s life is a little scary because we never really get the chance to do it. Sure, we can make different decisions, learn from lessons, mature, grow up, etc. But go back & actually change what we’ve done? Erase it completely? Impossible.

So I’m trying to learn from the rare chance Don Miller got of editing his life, giving his lackluster stories more pizzazz. I don’t want to live a lackluster life. I want each moment to matter to me. I want not to focus on just what’s ahead. I want my relationships with everyone around me to be focused. Intentional. Screw small talk. I want to ask questions. I've never been good with chit-chat. I want to find out, get to know, and then appreciate the people in my life. Out loud. I want them to know it. I want my friends and family to hear that they matter to me.

I want to focus on right now. And as many right nows as I can take advantage of. I’m not saying I want to have adventures every second, because come on, how realistic is that? But I am saying there is immense value in staying present. I want to do that. I want to be present & stay there.  

So, your story. The one you’re living right now. Is it a good one? Is it one you’d bother reading about? Are you present or is the sole function of your present to contain plans for your future?

Join me in trying to remain in the now. Let's appreciate where each of us are at this very second, rather than fantasizing about what's up ahead. We're all going to grow up. No matter how much we wish for time to speed up & grant us what we hope for, becoming adults occurs at a different pace, depending on the person.  But no matter who we are or what our plans, growing up happens in time. Let's make the most of that time, shall we?