What Do You Want?

Where’re you going to school?

What’s your major?

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What do you do?

Where do you work?

What do you want?

So many questions. So many decisions. If everything else in life is inconsistent, no one can say that questions about our future and our goals will subside or become unpredictable. Because no matter what, people will want to know. People will always ask. We will always want to answer.

We’re not the only victims here, you know. We ask these questions, too. We can’t help ourselves. We’re all curious. Nosey. Competitive.  We put others in the same situation because we want to know what everyone’s plans are for their lives; whether it’s because we just genuinely want to know or because we use their answers as a light to guide our own ambitions, we’re all guilty of it. Wanting to know.

Aside from the fact that these questions constantly bombard all of us, we feel pressured to have an impressive answer right away. As if thinking, weighing options, changing our minds, making mistakes, or doing something different from what we said when we were 16 means we’re neurotic, noncommittal, or both. So we answer. And if we can’t—if we’re unsure—we feel inadequate. Guilty. Like just because we don’t have an answer, we’re letting down whoever asked. Whoever feels like they deserve an explanation of us about our own future. We all want to know what we want. We want to be able to tell people.

Lest we forget, we put others in this spot, too. Yikes.

But here’s the thing. Just because a question is asked doesn’t mean we have to come up with gold right away. Just because they (we) ask doesn’t mean we have to have it all figured out in that moment. It isn’t a crime to be honest & say we don’t know. That we’re figuring it out. That we’re doing our best.

For those of us who do know what we want, that’s ok too. It’s important to remember though, that just because we might have things figured out right now doesn’t mean we have the right to look down on the people who might not have things quite as ‘together’ as we do. Because here’s the kick in the pants: just because we think we have our lives all planned out doesn’t mean it’ll end up the way we think it should (for more on this, see post from June called “Before Chickens Hatch…”).

The point is, sure, being able to give answers is always great. But we aren’t any less or more important because we are or aren’t able to give them at the drop of the hat. The point is, find out what you love. Then do that with everything you have. Give it your best, because then, even if you crash & burn, there’s always the chance that you won’t. There’s always the chance that you’ll soar. But let’s say you do crash & burn. There’s no shame in picking a different path for yourself. No shame in trying something different. In changing your mind.

Just figure out what you love. What fulfills you. If you don’t do that, how are you contributing to the betterment of humanity? You can’t pour into others unless you’re filled to the brim yourself. People who work jobs they hate have a difficult time pouring into other people because they’re borderline empty themselves. Don’t be those people. Be the people who do what they love. Then inspire others to do what they love. There needs to be more people like that in the world.

So. . .what do you want?